I would give you a thorough introduction, but I need to get right to the point. There are people. People who aren't zombies. They are preparing themselves for us. Our methods of prevention have always been pulling it off as a joke for the vast amount of survivors, so that they will reproduce, and we can feed properly, but these ones are serious! And the worst part of it is, that they are being talked about on TV!!!! Here's proof:
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  We must take the initiative, and stop this ZAPT as soon as possible, or our feeding will suffer.

 In other news, zombies are officially allowed to to play MOAG now. Ad build houses. This is all part of the FFOZ's work. Just look! MOAG is going public!!
M.O.A.G

Heh. I haven't updated this thing since Christmas. Sorry about that. I get you all interested with the whole looking like I'm coming back to life again thing, then drop off the face of the internet for months on end. I should probably tell you what's been happening since then.
Or perhaps, since some of my zombie friends think I'm abandoning them, I shouldn't say anything. You know what though? I'm the one updating, so I don't think they have much of an argument. I mean, apparently I'm the only one that cares about the F.F.O.Z. enough to blog about it. Just because I can bleed, that doesn't mean I'm not a zombie. Right?
The fact is this. I'm not human. I'm pretty sure of that. If I were, I would have been a little freaked out by the fact that I jumped onto a small child earlier, ripped open their skull, and sucked out their brains.
You know what I am freaked out about? I can bleed, man. And no one can explain it. I can also feel more than just hunger. It's odd. I guess it must be wind I'm feeling. It's cold, I believe. That's the word for it, right? Cold? Anyway, the only time I'm not feeling that is when the innards of a fresh kill are splashed onto me as I dive headfirst into my feast. Really, it's not much different. The bleeding thing has become less curious with age, and it's more of an annoyance now. The fact that I'm only getting warmth from killing people has just led to more feeding, since I like that feeling. However, that's the problem. I have a feeling that I like. This is strange. I can understand why the other zombies would be jealous.
Although I understand their frustration with the lack of feeling, at least they don't have to deal with Pablo. I'm thinking about killing him. He says if I do, though, he'll give me Cancer. I tell him that he can't. I'm a zombie can't get Cancer. Then he just stares, smirking at me, hiding some kind of secret. I have to figure out what he knows.

-Ishtar

P.S. This has nothing to do with zombies, but I figure I'm not going to update again before Easter. Enjoy the holiday. It's my personal favorite, being a zombie and all. Here's a present for you.

Ephraim is rather dead around this time. Everyone has gone away for the holidays, so I've spent the last little while trying to figure out what's going on with me.
It's all very confusing. My skin seems to be slowly growing back rather than decomposing. Also, I've been bleeding. Whenever I cut myself it doesn't just go through the skin. Little drops of a thick red liquid appear. It doesn't seem exactly like blood, because it's rather thick. However, it's reddish, it comes from wounds, and bleeding is the only thing I can think of to call it.
I keep asking Pablo what to do, but he doesn't care. All he ever thinks about is food. It's kind of annoying, really.

-Ishtar

(egor's voice will be nessacery for this starting)
Good evening,
My name is Ari, I live in dugway,UT.How i became a zombie is so simple, there was disaes that broke out of the resurch lab that was trying to help people with aids, and when it happened we all tryed to run for the main gate but a lot of us was shoot at the gate, so the few left was forced to ruff it out in the village that we made for our self. I was out picking the weeks food with some other people (that's what we have to do, every week we go to the farming area and get corn,beats Ect.) anyway while out there we were jumped by a massive swarm of zombies and i was bitten on my right leg. when we made it back to our forts wall they would not let me in because of the bite. so what i did was got all of my own stuff and a "cure" and it is called the 120 vires(mind you i am a scients) anyway, so i used the cure and i still have to take it but the cool thing is that i now can go out in to the zombies and nothing will happen to me, it is like they dont even know it. But i still need the cure to stay saine, if i turn that will be it. so i hope to blog here all the time. also ZAC slade told me about this, so here i am, thanks for letting me join.
---ARI---

We're worried about you and your brain this Halloween. It's zombie season and we made this video to help you get through it, brain intact.

See the zombiesurvivalwiki dot com for more zombie survival hints.

I have been hard at work with my "phone home" project for some time now. So writing on the blog had been a secondary concern. I have hit a delay. I need a transphase inducer so I can contact my home planet. However it's hard to gain one of those when all you have access too is spent electronic components. Major progress has been made and only the transphase inducer stands in my way. As for now nothing much has happened. My living quarters has been quiet for the most part. I have been taking time monitoring the habits of the near by life forms. However my awful zombie state has been a great distraction. It seems the younger Terran's go to indoctrination facilities for five days out of the week. They are out and about on the streets between the hours of 3 to 5pm. So I snatch one up once in a while for some snacking. There not as fulfilling as an adult but still good. I have eaten a couple of felines as well however I have been coughing up hair balls which has been making it more of an annoyance then something of pleasure. I have noticed a temperature deference as well as the plant life seems to be entering a hibernation of sorts. The populous also seems to be preparing for a ritual of sorts. People have been placing hallowed pods they call 'Jack-O-Lanterns' along the front of there homes. I have noticed a considerable amount of insect traps from the spider kind up along the porches. Something is up and it has sparked my curiosity.

-Ylsew the Nehpets

Yep. It's an interview. With me.
We talk a little politics, and there's some footage of a recent F.F.O.Z. rally in there. Enjoy.

-Ishtar

I... I think I'm bleeding.
Lets see, I was just eating some random college student when their friend came and stabbed me in the arm with a kitchen knife. Normally that's not a problem. Even now it's not really a problem as I'm eating the idiot that stabbed me.
But I think that's my blood. It's coming out of my wound. It smells funny. What's going on?
Oh, it stopped. Thank goodness. Zombies don't bleed when their stabbed in the arm, especially when they've been decomposing as long as me. That would just be weird.

-Ishtar

Well, I'm here in Ephraim now. It doesn't appear to have as much poultry as I originally expected it to. I guess they migrate or something.
Anyway, I'll tell you what's happened since my last post, I suppose. I went to eat the boy hiding at the dome buildings to start off with. He was better prepared than I expected. That building was a perfect safe haven from zombie attacks. However, he made a mistake in picking up one of his weapons. It was the largest wrench I've ever seen, and I expected he'd destroy me without a problem holding it. Fortunately, it was a little too big and it threw him off balance. I took my opportunity and ate him at that point.
After this I stole the truck they were using to travel with. I knew it would be a bit too much to walk all the way here.
The only other thing I did was go to a place that was completely deserted with a building that looked like it belonged in Japan. While there I found a cockroach that was enjoying itself rather nicely. I put it in my pocket to take with me. I think I'll name him Pablo. I haven't had a pet in a while.
After this I came here. The trip was rather uneventful apart from when I had to stop for gas. And I'm sure I don't need to explain that. You can imagine.
So here I am, Pablo in hand, ready to hide from the government for a while and eat college students. Fun fun.

-Ishtar

I think I'll leave tomorrow morning.
Having been far to lazy to figure out how to go about this, I was lucky yesterday to find a couple of young workers. They stumbled upon my holding cell while wandering around in order to fight boredom. They were, in all honesty, wishing for a zombie attack in order to make their day more interesting.
I heard this and, naturally, laughed harder than I can remember ever laughing before. They heard my laughter and thought I was a human locked in something they call a "chamber". Afraid I was going to die, the girl sent the boy to call for help. Oddly enough, they waited for a while before helping; the boy had to inform the girl that there weren't supposed to be any tests in the area, and she proceeded to open the door.
I haven't had fresh air for a while, and I'd forgotten how much of a difference it makes on the taste of flesh. (The girl looked an awful lot like I did when I was alive. I tried to keep myself from thinking about it. I finished her off quickly.)
The boy took the truck they brought with them and sped down the road. I saw him head toward two large white domes. Not entirely sure what that was about, but I'll head down and give him a visit here in a bit.
Anyway, I'm out and about now, but I don't think I'll leave entirely until tomorrow, as I've already stated. I'm wandering around the area for now, trying to figure out who these people are and why they captured me. Also, I need to figure out where I'm going from here. I'm thinking Ephraim. They get a surge in people around this time of year; there are almost as many people that come as there are chickens, and apparently that's a lot of people.
For today, though, I'm going to go eat someone. I'll also check out some of the scenery while I'm here. It's mostly just desert, but they have some interesting buildings. One of them appears normal on the outside, but looking at the inside, I think it's a giant gun.

-Ishtar

One more week of this, and I'm leaving.
These people have no idea what to do with me. We got the paperwork done a while ago, and finally after that they told me what was going on. However, what they said would be done and what appears to have happened are two different things; their only connection is through a web of people that don't know what to do. I don't know if that makes any sense, so I'll try and break down this last week for you.
I was told I would be tested and filled with different chemicals and things in order to see what caused the zombie effect. After telling me this they sent in someone with a sandwich, saying they wanted to see what my diet was like before they started testing. I ate the messenger/sandwich holder. They were not pleased. I don't understand why, though. They were the ones who wanted to learn about my diet.
Every day has been something else like this. Rather than do what they said they would, these people are just trying to figure out the obvious and kill time. I'm getting tired of it.
I'm even getting annoyed with eavesdropping on their conversations. Most of what I've heard has to do with other projects and other things going on in the area. They've been talking about things like broken cranes, shooting lasers into wind tunnels, and people that just started as summer-hires. None of the talk has been of zombies or of a cure for a while now. If anything has come of my stay here, no one is saying anything about it.
Also, apparently, that paperwork I signed included something to prevent the F.F.O.Z. from helping me out of this one, which is rather annoying. Shadrak probably could have gotten me out of this. As it is, I'm on my own. But like I said, if there aren't any changes within the week, I'm getting out of this place any way I can.

-Ishtar

i recently descovered that digging with spoons does not work verry well on tiled floors.
that being said, i have not yet found a way to escape the asylum.

~Shadrak

Ok, i dont have a whole lot of time to post this, but i have procured for myself a set of collectible spoons, which i picked up out of a garbage can on field trip day and smuggld in by hiding them in between my ribs. Shadrak has been no help at all, but Shadrak went agead and infected Hans and Olivia with the zombie gene. they seem to be taking to it quite well, although Hans fought back and ripped out Shadrak's heart, at which time, coincidentaly, Shadrak, Shadrak, and myself misplaced our own hearts.
Shadrak set me up, though, and i got in trouble for infecting Olivia and Hans. apparently Olivia has a hyper deppressive disorder and freaked out when she discovered that it no longer hurt to cut herself.
I was put into isolation for 24 hours, but it's all good. i still have my spoons, and i plan on digging my way out of here, promptly.... oh frick, here comes the Doctor, with his dart gun. talk to you larhughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

After sitting in this cell for so long doing nothing, I was excited to have something finally happen. Unfortunately, the keyword here is "was".
Before actually doing anything, the people holding me captive have dropped a large stack of paperwork in front of me to fill out. They are already in trouble with their superiors for sending in that strange gas through the vents without my written and notarized permission. Apparently, in order for anything to move forward here, I have to give them my Social Security Number, address, name, etc. This seems silly to me, but I don't seem to have much of a choice. I either fill out their paperwork, or sit and do absolutely nothing as I have been doing for so long now. I have the feeling something good for me will come of all this, so I'll do as they say (for now).
The only problem is I don't know my SSN, I don't have an address, and I don't remember my last name. I haven't had to do anything like this since I signed up with the F.F.O.Z. And even with their zombie-friendly system I had some issues.
I hate paperwork.

-Ishtar

so, luckily i was granted speedy entry into a court of law with my case, but it didnt go very well. the mason's countered with murder charges.
Shadrack played out his part as my lawyer valiantly, but was taken down at every approach by all 500 of the free mason's lawyers working on the case.
strangely enough, we were all put in for insanity, and not the other charges brought up against us. it wouldnt have made a difference anyways. the death sentence wouldnt have worked on me in my current state.
so here i am, in the loony bin. not much happenin. they only serve vegitables here, so i just got done eating two of the guards. they didnt seem to want me to get on this computer verry much.
ive made friends with a schizophrenic girl, named olivia, and an old guy with ptsd, named hans. both are humans, but i will not eat them anyways. they seem to be verry sympathetic to my cause.. and besides.. they are just skin and bones. i wouldnt get much meat off them. i could turn them into zombies, but it can wait. for now, im more preoccupied with escape.
oh good! here comes my doctor! and he has a dart gun. how nice. he's a really nice guy, i hope he doesnt get mad that im blogging on his office computsfkdfuhifddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

Well I got myself a computer. It took me forever but I got one. I was walking around the back of a store called Walmart and found that some minimal wage worker had left the door open. I of course let my self in and began shopping. I thought seeing that it was 12am that no one would be in the store but for the workers. So if anyone saw me I would only have to eat a few people. Boy was I wrong, turns out that Walmart is some gathering place for Lower Middle Class teenagers. A bunch of teen girls saw me and started screaming when I was looking at the hp laptops. I ran right over and began eating them but the fat one slowed me down. By the time I was done some teen boys and Walmart workers ran over, so I had to eat them and before I knew it I had eaten everyone in the store! I decided that I should just get a laptop and run before I ate the local police as well. When I got home I was suffering from severe pains. Those girls heavy use of eye-liner must be killer to me. Lucky for me I am all ready dead! I turned the laptop on and found that I could steal my neighbors wireless internet. After I "dumped" off my friends I found out by day time that this house has no cooling systems. So sad for me. Zombies don't do well under heat, we get all steamy and sweaty and bobbly and sticky. Nasty stuff. Well now that I got my computer, I will start looking for parts for my array to contact my home world.

The pain in my head hasn't left. The whispers haven't either. They've just gotten louder, and the pain has simply spread so it's also affecting my stomach.
The whispers were excited for a while. They seemed to have found something out. However, the tone of the buzz has changed from hopeful to excited to frustrated to maniac. They're refusing to shut up. It's all very frustrating, as it means they haven't checked on my in a few days.
These people used to at least stop by the door and listen. I could feel them, even when they were especially quiet. After this, they would send in some type of meat I don't recognize. I only ate a little the first time they did this, and haven't touched it since. I don't even think it's real meat. It tastes like dirt.
Anyway, the only thing I've seen all week is smoke coming from the walls. I think they have some sort of alarm set up to send in a gas for me to breathe in. Because of this, I've been holding my breath.
I don't trust them. If they want me to cooperate, they need to talk to me directly. I'm sure they will soon enough; they're getting desperate. I can feel their frustration and fear with the sense that only zombies have, and it's really making me hungry.
The whispers just stopped.

My zombie sense is tingling.

-Ishtar

So I found a house in town. I was looking around in the middle of the night and there she was.. a dry home. Being a civilized being, I love having a nice place to dwell in. The closest thing I could find back in Dugway was in old pill box.. But it did not last too long after the United States Air Force used it as a target.. But this home is perfect. It seems someone is using it as a ware house or sorts. Its full of boxes and dishes and furnishings. The door was unlocked so I came on in. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust so I think I will be safe here for a while. Good thing is that there is energy in this house so I can start building my transponder to alert my fellow Nehpets that I am stranded here. And I need a computer of my own. Last library I used shut down.. Something about eaten dead bodies.. Oh yeah.. I did that.. Its a little shocking to see what I've become. Well I am off to find a computer!

PS these people where great too!

-Ylsew the Nehpets

OH SNAP! So I was minding my own business when all of a sudden some dumb, stupid, arse holes, kidnaped me. They stuffed me in a bag and threw me in the back of there jeep and drove off. It was not a fantastic drive as you might expect. They must have been off roading or something because all my body parts got all jumbled. When they stopped and looked in the bag, my head was torn off along with my limbs and such. It took them 3 hours just to put me back together. I don't think they put me back together right seeing there lack of alien physiology but anyways. After that they brought me to there leader, Jones.. or whatever. He was all like, "we are going to send you threw this portal and you are going to like it!" I explained to him that his team of scientist's calculations where off but he said "who cares" and I tried to explain to him that I cared but he did not lesson and shoved me threw there oh so shinny portal. I felt like forever in there, being mutated and scrambled and ... you don't even want to know! But anyway I think I went unconscious or whatever and woke up in the strangest place.. In someone's back yard! A boy with a huge white dog came out and chased me down an ally. I lost them but I think he got a picture of me. But thats not the worst of it. I found out that I am in a city! This is bad because for the longest time I did not have to worry about the problem of eating the living flesh of people. See, back in the desert I was eating snakes, birds, stray dogs and a stray soldier. I was keeping myself as civilized as I could, but now.. there is no wild animals! Just a city full of people. I don' think I can hold back my NEED for human flesh. But first I need a place of residence before I start being the author of nemouis reports of missing people in this town.

-Ylsew the Nehpets
ps. The people in this library where great.

I have descovered where i am, i am in Pensylvania, which, i think, is where dracua lives. so i am going to be looking him up while im here. i'l give you all the verdict when i find out. theres lots of amish people here, and they are all verry friendly people. hard-working farm-types. the tourists are all idiots. im eating as many as i can, while im here. i think its funny, though. the amish pride themselves on staying verry plain, but in doing so, have become a contradiction of means. if they were so plain, then why are there tourists gawking at them all day long? i mean they really arent that interesting, but in being so uninteresting, they have become the talk of the east coast. in my wonderings i have been shocked by too many electric fences to count, and during one of those, i think i may have forgotten some things, and made my friend, shadrak, who works at wal-mart, verry mad. he went on an amish killing spree for a couple days, and then came back to normal after a few more electric fences.

question- if amish people dont believe in electricity, why do they all use electric fences?

anyways, on a more relevant note, shadrak, shadrak, shadrak, and i, have decided to sue the free masons, for dameage to our taxi, and for mental anguish because of their blatant discrimination against the zombie kind; ammounting to the ammount of money that it would cost to buy an old vw van off some lot, and to feul it enough to get us back to dugway, utah.  Shadrak has it all figured out; we will go find a scam artist/auto repairman, and have him give us an estimate for repairing the taxi, then take that to court with us. its gonna be great. 

bah! i want to eat a cow!!!!!!!

~Shadrak